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You're a bastard, Mister Moose

You derive pleasure from other people's misery

Dropping ping-pong balls on Captain Kangaroo's head

Whilst having your way with Bunny Rabbit

Thanks a lot, Mister Moose

You pushed Bob Keeshan over the edge of sanity

And now that he is gone forever

Children’s television has reverted back to the fucking stone age

Have you no shame, Mister Moose?

Where would you be if it weren't for the Captain's generosity?

Probably starving to death in the Canadian wilderness

Or your severed head prominently displayed on the wall of a hunting lodge

You're a disgrace Mister Moose

You are a bad influence

And a poor role model

For children the world over